THE PROS AND CONS OF THE EXCHANGE STUDENT

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From what I’ve witnessed and experienced, it must be said that there is a certain allure to The Exchange Student. They haunt every city street and university hall, often travelling in packs of two or three. They’re practically unavoidable and, if you can’t tell them apart from the locals, their accents will tip you off. You can take one out for a spin, if you so choose, or they’ll take you out for one. Maybe more than once. The way I see it, the situation with The Exchange Student(s) is this – shall you hunt or shall you be hunted? Because the majority of these beings I have come into contact with are looking for a good time. Some are better at hiding it than others, but let’s face it, they either want to travel the country or travel your country.

The Pros:
1. They will eventually leave the country. And for those of you who avoid commitment or are simply looking for a bed warmer, this is particularly appealing. No strings attached (if you’re smart about it) fun.
2. They’re different. This, I think, is one of their main pull-factors. They dress differently, speak differently and generally have a different way of viewing things. Makes for interesting, all-night conversations. If you’re into that.
3. The satisfaction of being able to say, “been there, done that.” You see, there’s a list of the world’s best and worst lovers, and if you decide to dabble in The Exchange Student, you can slowly tick these lovers off your list.
4. They’re more willing to get out of the house and do shit. Bored of your friends staying inside on their laptops all day? Starting to look too pale from lack of sun? The Exchange Student will be more than happy to go out and explore the world. Go out, get some of that vitamin D.

The Cons:
1. They will eventually leave the country. For those who want a bit of fun, this is absolutely fine, but as soon as feelings get involved, shit hits the fan. If you’re the type to dreamily envisage going out for coffee together, then it’s best if you step away now and save yourself the heartache.
2. You don’t know where they’ve ‘been’. They’re exchange students, they’re likely to have travelled many countries and are likely to have bedded a few of the locals. Who knows what funky foreign STDs they might have. Always practice safe sex, kids.
3. They may in fact be not that much different at all. Don’t get your hopes up, that Italian may not be as good as a lover as you may assume and that French girl may not be as French as you think. If you catch my drift.
4. The Exchange Student has faulty loyalties. He or she wants to have fun and sometimes that fun may not involve you. Refer to con #1. If you’re gonna get attached, avoid it altogether.

This list should be taken with a grain of salt. I am by no means an expert on the elusive Exchange Student, but I figure life is already so confusing and complicated with its unexpected twists and turns that any help I can give, I shall give willing. So go forth, hunt those Exchange Students down. Have fun.

3 comments:

  1. Con: your flatmate becomes well acquainted with your sex sounds.

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  2. All hail this post (I live in student accommodation where all the exchange kiddies come and go)

    www.wh4reever.blogspot.com

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  3. this is hilarious!!!!

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