Love and dating are scary and they suck sometimes! YAY!
Love & Dating 101:
1. In all things to do with love and dating, only do what feels good and don't you dare let anyone make you feel like any less of a person for saying 'no'. Those people can go screw themselves.
2. If a girl gives you head and wants to be kissed afterwards, you better have the decency to kiss her. Kiss the hell out of her. If you don't, it just goes to show what a pathetically prude piece of shit you are and you suck in bed.
3. Respect, always.
4. Sexting, phone sex, skype sex. They are all wonderful and absolutely nothing you should be ashamed of.
5. If a girl is dry, it's your problem, not hers.
6. Wear whatever the hell you want to on the first date. If your prospective partner doesn't like it, then maybe you should re-think dating them.
7. Cacti are awful dildos.
8. Sucking your boyfriend's dick while he's doing the dishes (or having a shower or taking a phonecall) is hot and time efficient #multitasking
9. "I want you" is a line that should definitely be used more often.
10. Condoms suck, but unplanned pregnancies and STDs suck more.
11. Don't listen to a word Cosmopolitan tells you about love and men. Women advising women (or men) on how to please men is fucking brainwashing bullshit.
12. Compromise doesn't always mean putting them first.
13. If they don't have any interest in meeting your friends or family, they're not worth your time.
14. If they say the condom is too small, they're lying. You can literally fit entire arms in those things. LITERALLY ENTIRE ARMS.
15. Communication and honesty are extremely important in all relationships.
16. "We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them." - John Walters
17. Hickeys are a Winter time accessory. So are scarves.
18. You don't have to like all of the same things, just as long as you like each other.
19. You can't change people unless they want to change and, even then, sometimes not.
20. If you cheat on someone who loves you, I hope you get caught. You're a dickface.