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I don't know why people are under the misconception that everyone who is single must be fresh out of a relationship or on the lookout for one. The idea that a person cannot simply be content with being on their own is both ridiculous and naive. In my experience, being single can be just as awesome as it is to be in a relationship, and here are some of the reasons why I enjoy it:

Reasons Why Being Single Is Pretty Awesome:

1. From the second I get home to the minute I leave again, I pretty much never wear pants, unless someone is coming over.

2. Every once in a while I will lock myself in my room and go topless while eating shitty food and watch re-runs of The Office, Arrested Development and Seinfeld FOR AN ENTIRE FRIGGIN' WEEKEND.

3. You don't have to worry about looking a certain way for anyone but yourself.

4. The only thing in my fridge at the moment is leftover pizza, an apple and red wine and I don't give a FUCK.

5. Sometimes my room will get unbearably messy for a few weeks and I'm just, like, whatever.

6. Your bedsheets will stay cleaner for longer. Obviously.

7. More than half the time, I will use the same cup, fork and plate for days on end so I don't have to do any dishes. I don't even care how disgusting that might be.

8. A few days ago, I watched The Lion King and sang all the songs to my stuffed animals like a crazy person. I will never apologize for or regret this.

9. I can hangout with and talk to whoever I want without worrying about my girlfriend or boyfriend getting jealous. After spending years in a relationship with a jealous psychopath, this is the greatest form of freedom on the planet.

10. I am free from having awkward 'relationship' talks with my father who is inclined to thinking every boyfriend I've ever had (or will ever have) is a terrorist who is going to de-flower his daughter and burn down our family home.

11. Being alone can force you to learn some important lessons about who you are, who you want to be and who you want and deserve to be with. There are certain things you can only learn by being on your own. Do not underestimate this.

12. You can make out with or have sex with whoever you want, whenever you want, if you want.

13. "It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end." - Ernest Hemingway

14. Basically, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. And freedom never did taste so good. Especially if 'freedom' is eating an entire block of chocolate on your own without thinking twice about it.

The key to being happy while being single is learning to be happy with where you are in your life right now and not wanting anything more for the moment. I mean, obviously it's slightly more complicated than that, but life can be easy and life can be good if you just stop worrying about everyone else and focus on yourself and what you want for your life, regardless of your relationship status. Because that's what being single is all about, really.

One day I might show this post to my future boyfriend or my future girlfriend and they'll give me a high-five and we'll laugh because we've had too much red wine and they'll think I'm awesome and I'll love them and cook them dinner and then we'll have sex on the kitchen floor or something. You know, all that lovey-dovey shit that I'm saving for later.


  1. u crack me up!! perfect as always

  2. why would u have sex on the floor?