30 HOURS OF COMPLETE AGONY

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Tonight, I fly back home to New Zealand. After almost 3 glorious months (a grand total of 88 days) here in Germany, it's time for me to pack up my shit and make my way back to the homeland. I want to bang my fists against the table and throw a tantrum because I just don't want to leave. I don't, I really, really don't. I want to find some old German guy and force him to marry me so I can stay here forever and then wait til he passes away so I can inherit his money and live it up for the next 20 years. But apparently that isn't a real job or whatever, according to my father.

What makes the leaving process so painful is the actual leaving part. I'm not from Europe, I'm from this teeny, tiny place at the bottom of the planet that google maps forgets exists sometimes and flying all the way to New Zealand from Germany is one hell of a trip. My travel time is totaling at 30 hours, and those are 30 hours I'd rather go without.

*note: I've just been on a bus for about 14-15 hours, so I'm tired as fuck already

So, you may ask, how on earth am I going to get through it?

1. My iPhone.
If I didn't have internet access and/or music to occupy my mind, I would lose my shit and probably end up murdering someone. How do people not listen to music over long periods of time? Like, do they do crossword puzzles in their mind? Do they eat people to entertain themselves? What, WHAT DO THEY DO?!

2. My laptop.
Because I gotta be able to watch movies and I gotta be able to write down blog ideas or story ideas when they come to me. I'm an extremely forgetful human being, and if I don't write something good down the minute I think of it, then it's likely to disappear into oblivion.

3. M&Ms, probably.
Something about airports makes me want to eat peanut M&Ms constantly. Like, I don't necessarily even want them, I just have this urge to pick up small, colourful things and stick them into my mouth. Is that strange? Like, you guys do that too, right? Right?!

4. Sleeping pills.
OH, THANK GOD FOR SLEEPING PILLS. They are so fucking magical. I can make time slip away just by popping one of those blue motherfuckers. Also, I get terrible back problems when I sit down for long periods of time, so sleeping pills are a godsend when I don't feel like overdosing on codeine.

5. Staring at strangers and imagining what their lives are like.
I often look at couples and wonder how often they have sex or I look at old people and wonder what disease or ailment they might have. I also watch children and wonder whether or not they'll grow up to be an asshole or if they love their parents. Sometimes I just stare at people until they get creeped out, but that's only if I get super bored and need a good laugh.

That being said, despite my incessant displeasure at having to leave this beautiful country, I am looking forward to a few things upon my arrival back home. I guess New Zealand isn't that bad...

1. Seeing friends/family again.
The great thing about not seeing your friends and family in a while is that there is usually some stories to share. I am very much looking forward to seeing some familiar faces who speak English. Very, very much looking forward to it.

2. OMG, NZ bread!!
I know, it's almost blasphemous to say that I prefer NZ bread, but I kind of just do. The bread here makes my tummy sore.

3. My own bed.
AND MY TEDDYBEARS!! Awwwwwww yiss :D

4. Seeing my sister (and other family members) in October.
Visiting my family in Wellington in October. Haven't seen my sister in SO FUCKING LONG, and I miss the fuck outta her, man. Will also be applying for a visa around this time, so it's two birds with one stone. Yay for efficiency!

5. Student Press Awards..?
Okay, to be fair, I didn't know these even existed until today. The editor of the university magazine which I inadvertently write for informed me that I've been nominated for Best Columnist at the Student Press Awards this year, which is pretty fantastic news. The chances of actually winning are quite slim, as a lot of what I write is written in the dark at 3am with a glass of wine after not having taken a shower for 3 days (so really, the writing isn't all that fantastic), but being nominated is prize enough for me. Pretty pleased about it :)

6. Supermarkets being open on Sundays.
Honestly, thank fuck for that.

aaaaah, well there it is. Better start organizing all my stuff now. Sad to be leaving, but glad to be coming back. See you soon, New Zealand.


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