OH YEAH, IT'S 2014 NOW

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Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, yeah, yeah. Would it sound totally gross if I told you I didn't make any New Years resolutions for this year? Because I didn't, well, not really. I just find that every year, without fail, I forget about and fail at keeping my New Years resolutions come March and I end up indulging in whatever bad habit I was trying to kick in the first place. And I know you guys do it too, I just know it.

But do you know what I'm good at? Hostility and avoidance. So, instead of making a list of things to do, why not take a couple of things off my list of things NOT to do? Go ahead, treat yo' self.


Things to Avoid in 2014:

1. Surviving off ramen noodles for any longer than 4 days.
BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ANIMALS AND THERE ARE HEALTHIER ALTERNATIVES (but, God, do they taste good..).

2. Not practicing safe sex.
Do I really need to explain this one? Don't be catching any shit and don't be spreadin' it neither.

3. Pity dating.
Why? Just, why? It's a waste of your time and a waste of theirs.

4. Being late.
Because it makes you an asshole to be honest. If you're going to be late, let the other person know so they don't have to wait around for your lazy ass forever.

5. Remaining friends with someone for any other reason than actually wanting their friendship.
There is no point in maintaining a friendship for obligatory reasons or reasons other than wanting their actual friendship. If you don't actually enjoy the person's friendship and company, then back out of it. Don't waste your time and effort on something that will eventually die away anyway.

6. Being "casually" racist.
Just because it's casual, doesn't mean it isn't bad. I mean, you could also be "casually" bigoted, but it still means you're an asshole.

7. Being passive aggressive.
If you're pissed off with something or someone, then stop being a coward and be upfront about it, otherwise you run the risk of being walked all over or people thinking you're a punk ass bitch (probably both).

8. Feeling entitled.
Because you ain't entitled to shit, son. The world and the people in it don't owe you anything and the sooner you get over that, the better.

9. Being comfortable in your misogyny.
There is no place for it here, there or anywhere.

10. Having yourself a pity party.
Honestly, it's the worst. It gets you nowhere, makes you very annoying to be around and literally nothing about your situation changes because of it. What a waste of time.

There ya go! Have fun not being the worst human being on the planet! Live long and prosper.

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