1.13.2015

HIGHS AND LOWS: 2014

 photo v1_zps616f5aad.jpg
 photo v2_zps069703e6.jpg
 photo v3_zpsa361a8dd.jpg
 photo v4_zps65abe3c5.jpg
 photo v5_zpsc84af6e3.jpg
 photo v6_zps05cec2a0.jpg
 photo v7_zps2563948e.jpg
 photo v8_zpsbfdb858a.jpg
 photo v10_zps73162861.jpg
 photo v11_zps9c0af1c0.jpg
 photo v12_zps2dc00572.jpg
 photo v13_zps79366106.jpg
 photo v14_zpsb84935d8.jpg
 photo v18_zps4f91f0be.jpg
 photo v19_zps09d66552.jpg
 photo v20_zps4dcbc490.jpg
 photo v15_zpsb9bbad6e.jpg
 photo v16_zps025324bd.jpg
 photo v17_zps86fa5b74.jpg

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to write this, hence the nearly two week gap between now and New Years. Thing is, 2014 was generally a pretty shitty year, with some pretty cool highs, but some really fucked up lows. 2014 and I are not friends, which is why I have so much hope for 2015 - you can only go up from here. The photos are just a random bunch that I had never posted anywhere before. I have thousands of photos that the internet hasn't seen (which is more out of laziness than lack of generosity with my personal life). I tried to cull the load, otherwise you guys would be here all day, staring at random selfies and unflattering photos of my friends and I. Oh, and photos of food, of course.

ANYWAY.. haven't done one of these in a while...

Highs and Lows of 2014:

Highs
1. Was finally able to move to Germany.
2. Found employment in Germany with relative ease and ended up having two extremely lovely boss-ladies.
3. Began writing for Thought Catalog.
4. Made some new seriously awesome friends whose kindness I am still shocked by.
5. Having one of my closest friends from University, who also studied German with me, come visit Germany. Going to Berlin with her for the first time, listening to a lot of Beyonce and watching a lot of The Mindy Project.
6. Any and all new things that my friends here have introduced me to, some of which include: a waffle place, hanuta, the fact that there are English screenings of movies I really want to watch, *insert name of every sweet that New Zealand doesn't have*.
7. Reading more. I read a lot in the years before, but it was always required reading for my English courses, so I was constantly reading something that I didn't necessarily want to read. This year I got to read so much more of the kinds of stuff I actually like.
8. Visiting Spain for the first time with my bestfriend. Also, basically everything that happened there.
9. Visting Tübingen with my friends + Christmas there.
10. Seeing the fireworks with my friends on New Years Eve.

Lows
1. The cluster-fuck that is trying to get your Tax Code here in Germany. For reference, it takes about 1-2 weeks to organise something like that in New Zealand. Here in Germany it took almost three months (do not even get me started on the paper work..).
2. Any and all racist encounters I've had to experience.
3. One very stressful relationship, the worst kind of breakup, followed by an attempt at friendship, and consequently ending in a very shitty, bitter fuck-off-forever type thing.
4. Missing out on the usual family things that happen at the end of the year like my sister's birthday, Christmas, New Years, etc.
5. Any and all moments of intense self-doubt, self-harm and self-loathing that happened far more frequently than they should've.
6. The period between April - March in which I received explicitly detailed death threats daily.
7. Any and all moments in which I craved a Captain Ben's Chicken Burger and realised that I couldn't have one. Same goes for his Chocolate Explosion Donuts (typing that is painful, because the cravings are intense).
8. Homesickness. Missing my friends, wondering when I'll see them again.

1.12.2015

BEING 23 MEANS I'M IN MY PRIME, RIGHT?

 photo bd_zpsa7f0e437.jpg
 photo bd2_zps488f61ed.jpg
 photo bd3_zpsd8ed322a.jpg
 photo bd4_zpsaa8e675d.jpg
 photo bd5_zps866b6d63.jpg
 photo bd6_zpsf1ebda4c.jpg
 photo bd7_zps9f95c66b.jpg
 photo bd9_zpsde17ffcf.jpg
 photo bd10_zps7c64d433.jpg

Did you know that athletes are supposed to reach their prime when they hit the age of 23? Well, now you know.

I also want you all to know that my hangover today is a potent mix of physical pain and memory loss. It's nice to know that I'm going to spend my prime years like this. Twenty-three is a weird age. It's like the puberty of your 20s, which is gross.

Yesterday was my birthday and I turned twenty-three and it doesn't really feel like I'm older or wiser or more mature in anyway other than physically (which is arguable, because I'm still waiting on my boobs to grow #asianproblems). Spent the morning of my birthday skyping my younger sister in Australia for 3 hours then took another 2 hours before I had finally cleaned myself up to an acceptable state. I hadn't really planned anything major, because all I really wanted was to spend some time with the people who matter to me - and here in Germany, those people are few, which makes them extra awesome.

Had dinner at some burger place that no one had been to before and left very disappointed in myself for not being able to finish an entire burger. Even now, I can hear my mother's voice, "but there are children in Africa who are starving, Macy!". Some guilt never dies!

We played Circle of Death and Fluffy Bunnies back at our flat, and I am pleased to announce that I still reign supreme in Fluffy Bunnies (nine, motherfucker, nine!) and, after over a year without my beloved Circle of Death (New Zealand, I miss you), I still suck at it, but at least not quite as bad as my German flatmate does.

After the second round of Circle of Death, my memory gets a bit blurry, but I remember having lots of fun and laughing a lot and magically finding myself in my own bed at 6am. Dance parties and cake might've been involved sometime after 3am, and I am still too scared to check my phone for the damage Drunk-Macy is sure to have made, but whatever, my birthday was fucking awesome and I'm happy. Hungover, but happy.


12.30.2014

GOODBYE, TÜBINGEN

 photo vb2_zpsc1f01391.jpg
 photo vb3_zpsc72a4d8c.jpg
 photo vb4_zps31128b4d.jpg
 photo vb5_zpsbaa8f9f5.jpg
 photo vb6_zps9c42cfc4.jpg

It's been snowing for the past 3-4 days here in Tübingen and it really does look so beautiful. I know it sounds cheesy to describe this place as a "winter wonderland", but my god, it just is. I wish I could've been so lucky as to have grown up with Winters like this.

Went out with Felix, Lukas and Florian this afternoon to go sledding one last time before Felix, Lukas and I have to head back to Bremen (which apparently has also seen snow today). As tiring as it can be to walk up a hill in full winter gear, sledding is so much fucking fun omg can I please do it whenever I want all year round?. Admittedly I'm not very good at it, but practice makes perfect I suppose and I haven't had half as much practice as these Germans have. The first time I ever went sledding was with my host sister in Bavaria and that afternoon ended with the side of my face being completely scraped off by some rocks that were waiting for me at the bottom of our hill. I looked like a zombie for about a week and a half. This time, however, I managed to stay relatively safe and only came home with one freezing butt and some very cold fingers.

After warming ourselves up a bit and drying off, we headed into the city for some food and to meet up with some of Felix and Lukas' friends. Had some food, drank some drinks, enjoyed Tübingen for one last evening. Had a few more drinks back home and played some Dominion, which was way more fun than I thought it would be. The entire day was really pleasant and I'm glad we were able to enjoy their hometown together one last time before the New Year.

Tomorrow we head back to Bremen, to my own bed, to my friends whose ridiculousness I have been missing a little bit. Tübingen was great, better than expected, but home is pretty good too.

 photo hj1_zpsbe27af44.jpg
 photo hj2_zps24a665ed.jpg
 photo hj3_zps140b5a6e.jpg
 photo hj6_zpsa8443a29.jpg
 photo hj7_zps91cd6349.jpg

12.28.2014

OMEGLE, THE LAND OF THE HORNY

Last night, as an experiment and out of curiosity, I hopped onto omegle (www.omegle.com) to see what was going on. I'm not entirely sure what exactly it was I was looking for, but I wanted to be entertained and entertained I was. For those of you who don't know what omegle is, it's basically the exact same concept as Chat Roulette, and 90% of the people on there are horny men who want to jack off to strangers online. I mean, sure, whatever rocks your boat, but if you're looking to have a friendly chat, I would suggest finding some other means of doing so, because omegle is not for you.

Also, because I'm trying to be considerate, WARNING, THIS POST WILL CONTAIN DICKS, DICKS AND MORE DICKS.

1. First person on omegle is expectedly straight-forward and horny. Clearly no surprises there.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at103121pm_zpse575f539.png

2. Come across a half dressed child and immediately feel more creeped out than if I were to have come across another grown man's penis. What the hell is this kid doing online? How old is he, 12?! Get off omegle, oh sweet youth, you don't belong here.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at104743pm_zpsa034e76f.png

3. When you come across a man jacking himself off without prior warning, it's always fun to bring them down a notch or two by telling them they have a small dick.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at104729pm_zps720e3cd6.png

4. If a man wants a woman to get naked, he should remember that his penis is no reward for a non-horny female and therefore needs to offer up something of more value. Suggestions include, but are limited to: your soul, your car, your house, your tears, etc, etc. *cue TLC song I don't want no scrubs, scrubs is a guy who can't get no love from me*
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at110356pm_zps678023b6.png

5. NononononononononoNONONONOnononononononononononoNONONO.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at104103pm_zpsab0fddf2.png

6. If you get bored of telling men how small their dicks are, try dropping some truth bombs on them to lighten the mood.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at110812pm_zps8157e88e.png

7. He would've had more luck asking me for help with his math homework to be honest.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at104436pm_zps7eef6851.png

8. If a man wants to "cum 4 u", don't let him. Tell him what you think of his penis and watch as he quickly softens.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at110651pm_zps36060bf3.png

9. Hallelujah! A normal human being! Out of curiosity, told him to find me on Facebook with what little information I gave him. He did in under 1 minute, which is alarming and makes me think that I should reconsider my internet presence. (I also am completely aware that this now allows all of you to find me on fb, but a lot of you have done so already, so whatever)
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-26at113656pm_zps78f2d667.png

10. When you're not interested in a guy, turn his compliment into an insult and make him feel bad about himself.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-27at121317am_zps6d6ba216.png

11. The first and only female I came across. She was a unicorn amongst a sea of penises.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-27at120947am_zpsee167312.png

12. Managed to find 3 Germans who live in Munich. Did not once ask me to take off my clothes, show them my boobs or watch them jack off, so A+ work.
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-27at122138am_zpsee26eebe.png

13. Are you ready for the finale? Are you sure? ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED?! Okay, fine..
 photo ScreenShot2014-12-27at125010am_zps01c113fd.png

14. Aaaaaand that makes 2 males in the world who have written my name on their erect penises. Why they choose to do this, I dunno, maybe they think it pleases my ego or something.

 photo ScreenShot2014-12-27at125904am_zps07fdedda.png